You are allowed to feel unhappy even if you don't have a "hard" life

Growing up, I always thought I wasn't allowed to feel unhappy because of how easy my childhood was. My parents were always happily married, I had an awesome older brother, great friends, a comfortable financial situation, and a support system that stuck with me every step of the way. While it is important to understand how lucky I was, I later realized having such a picture-perfect life brought guilt upon me whenever I felt down. I would attempt to 'shake off' the feeling by telling myself that being unhappy in the life I had was just selfish.

Fast forward to 2021. For the first time in my life, I saw a glimpse of the whole world falling apart. Everyone was affected by this beast called Covid19.

I was a junior in college living in a house with 16 girls I had never lived with. 16 girls who I thought had their shit together more than anyone else I knew. But it turns out, nobody did. Including myself. Especially myself.

I was experiencing change. Normal change that I did not know how to handle. With the realization that I only had one (hopefully) normal year of college left, my priorities noticeably shifted. It was a subconscious shift that I was completely blind to in the moment. The things that came easy to me my whole life, suddenly felt extremely difficult and the things I have always hated, I found myself voluntarily exploring.

In short, I shifted my focus away from sports and on to academics. I began to dread going to practice, something that was once the highlight of my day, and actually found myself getting excited about learning. I hated the feeling of change because of how uncomfortable the adjustment made me. I would place blame on myself simply because I didn't know what else to do or how else to act. This shift, without me even knowing, impacted me and some of my closest friends who weren't yet going through the change I was experiencing. It was an awkward transitional period that was enhanced greatly by Covid.

College and Covid are not two things that go well together, especially when living with 16 girls with separate class schedules, social lives, boyfriends and Covid 'rules.' I won't get into all that, but I will say, living in this house pushed me to experience, learn, and grow with each of them.

This year taught me, for the first time in my life, that it is okay to be momentarily unhappy even if you have a good life and that it is okay to want to change or tweak your life even if you are not really struggling.

I used to wonder why I would think the way that I did. I wanted more out of my life than I was getting and I didn't understand why. I would continuously ask myself if my life should be better or if I should be doing this or that when in reality, I've realized that it is okay to have these questions even if you are lucky.

My goal is to share the resources and tips that helped me become happier even though I was already happy. There is no right way to being happy but understanding that your feelings are valid despite the situation is the first step.

I lived with 16 lucky girls, and we all had shit going on.